Title: Some Days
Author: theniwokesoftly
Fandom: Fanboys
Pairing: Eric/Linus (unrequited)
Warning: Canon character death

Author's Note: guest_age asked me for Eric angsting after Linus dies. I originally thought I could throw myself into an angst-fest where Eric is completely non-functional and I stewed on that for a couple of days before realizing that that's not how Eric reacts to things. So I hope you like this, darling! The first scene is also based on guest_age's marvelous theory presented in the ship manifesto which can be found here.

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glasses and book

Books of 2010

Here we go! ama_bookclub books are starred.

Aaron, Rachel: The Spirit Thief
Aaron, Rachel: The Spirit Rebellion

Butcher, Jim: Changes
Butcher, Jim: Furies of Calderon
Butcher, Jim: Academ's Fury

Card, Orson Scott: Ender's Game
Card, Orson Scott: Ender's Shadow
Carriger, Gail: Soulless
Carriger, Gail: Changeless
Carriger, Gail: Blameless
*Carroll, Lewis: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
Conan Doyle, Arthur: A Study in Scarlet

*Faulkner, William: A Rose for Emily (yes, this is really a short story)

Gaiman, Neil: Neverwhere
Gruen, Sara: Water for Elephants (for the third time in sixteen months)

Haddon, Mark: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time
Huff, Tanya: Valor's Trial
Huff, Tanya: The Enchantment Emporium
Huff, Tanya: Torin and the Pirates The Truth of Valor

Kadrey, Richard: Sandman Slim

McKinley, Robin: Deerskin
McKinley, Robin: Beauty

Riordan, Rick: The Lost Hero
Rothfuss, Pat: The Name of the Wind (I've read it about five times)
Rowland, Diana: Mark of the Demon
Rowland, Diana: Blood of the Demon

Shaffer, Mary Ann and Barrows, Annie: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Wells, H.G.: The Time Machine
Westerfeld, Scott: Leviathan
Westerfeld, Scott: Behemoth
Wharton, Edith: The Age of Innocence
Wilson, Valerie Plame: Fair Game
Wrede, Patricia, & Stevermer, Caroline: Sorcery & Cecelia
Wrede, Patricia, & Stevermer, Caroline: The Grand Tour
Wrede, Patricia, & Stevermer, Caroline: The Mislaid Magician

Thirty-five. Last year I read sixty-nine, but then, last year I was unemployed for quite a while. And I did try some writing.
  • Current Mood
    nerdy nerdy

(no subject)

Just posted this to deancastiel, but there's a moderation queue and for some reason, I really wanted to post it right now. Anyway, I'm a bit fixated on Dean/Castiel and how they never take their eyes of each other. These are Dean's thoughts.

Author: theniwokesoftly
Fandom: Supernatural
Character: Dean Winchester
Rating: PG, perhaps, for language
Wordcount: ~650
Spoilers: generic for seasons 4 & 5
Disclaimer: I'm only borrowing them.

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glasses and book

Books of 2009

Inspired by someone else's journal, this is my ongoing list of books I've read in 2009. (This includes rereads.)

Adams, Douglas: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Austen, Jane: Sense & Sensibility

Barber, David: Bach, Beethoven, and the Boys: Music History as it Ought to be Taught
Black, Holy, and Castelluci, Cecil: Geektastic: Stories from the Nerd Herd
Butcher, Jim: Turn Coat
Butcher, Jim: White Night
Butcher, Jim: Small Favor
Butcher, Jim: Blood Rites

Cabot, Meg: Forever Princess (shutup)
Cairns, David: Mozart and his Operas
Card, Orson Scott: Shadow of the Hegemon
Card, Orson Scott: Shadow Puppets
Conan Doyle, Arthur: The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes

Donoghue, Emma: Life Mask

Eugenides, Jeffrey: Middlesex
Eugenides, Jeffrey: The Virgin Suicides

Follett, Ken: The Pillars of the Earth
Follet, Ken: World Without End

Gaiman, Neil: Marvel 1602
Gaiman, Neil: Coraline
Gaiman, Neil: American Gods
Gruen, Sara: Water for Elephants

Harris, Charlaine: Dead Until Dark
Harris, Charlaine: Living Dead in Dallas
Harris, Charlaine: Club Dead
Harris, Charlaine: Dead to the World
Harris, Charlaine: Dead as a Doornail
Harris, Charlaine: Definitely Dead
Harris, Charlaine: All Together Dead
Harris, Charlaine: From Dead to Worse
Harris, Charlaine: Dead and Gone
Hosseini, Khaled: The Kite Runner
Huff, Tanya: Gate of Darkness, Circle of Light
Huff, Tanya: The Fire's Stone
Huff, Tanya: Smoke and Shadows
Huff, Tanya: Smoke and Mirrors
Huff, Tanya: Smoke and Ashes
Huff, Tanya: The Better Part of Valor
Huff, Tanya: The Heart of Valor

King, Stephen: Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption (technically this is a short story, but it's more like a novella and it's gotta be as long as Coraline)

Lawhead, Stephen: Avalon: The Return of King Arthur
Lukyanenko, Sergei: Night Watch

McKinley, Robin: Beauty
McKinley, Robin: A Knot in the Grain and Other Stories
McKinley, Robin: Sunshine
McKinley, Robin: The Outlaws of Sherwood
Moore, Alan: Watchmen

Napoli, Donna Jo: Hush

Perez, Marlene: Dead is the New Black
Perez, Marlene: Dead is a State of Mind

Riordan, Rick: The Lightening Thief
Riordan, Rick: The Sea of Monsters
Riordan, Rick: The Titan's Curse
Riordan, Rick: The Battle of the Labyrinth
Riordan, Rick: The Last Olympian
Ross, Alex: The Rest is Noise: Listening to the Twentieth Century
Rothfuss, Patrick: The Name of the Wind

Sacks, Oliver: Musicophilia: Tales of Music and the Brain
Sedaris, David: When You Are Engulfed in Flames
Sedaris, David: Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim
Stoker, Bram: Dracula

Tan, Amy: The Joy Luck Club

Watson, Winifred: Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Wharton, Edith: The Age of Innocence
Weir, Alison: Innocent Traitor
Wilde, Oscar: The Picture of Dorian Gray
Wrede, Patricia, and Stevermer, Caroline: Sorcery and Cecilia
Wrede, Patricia, and Stevermer, Caroline: The Grand Tour
Wrede, Patricia, and Stevermer, Caroline: The Mislaid Magician

Armistice Day/Veterans Day

131. Dirge for Two Veterans

The last sunbeam
Lightly falls from the finish’d Sabbath,
On the pavement here—and there beyond, it is looking,
Down a new-made double grave.

Lo! the moon ascending!
Up from the east, the silvery round moon;
Beautiful over the house tops, ghastly phantom moon;
Immense and silent moon.

I see a sad procession,
And I hear the sound of coming full-key’d bugles;
All the channels of the city streets they’re flooding,
As with voices and with tears.

I hear the great drums pounding,
And the small drums steady whirring;
And every blow of the great convulsive drums,
Strikes me through and through.

For the son is brought with the father;
In the foremost ranks of the fierce assault they fell;
Two veterans, son and father, dropt together,
And the double grave awaits them.

Now nearer blow the bugles,
And the drums strike more convulsive;
And the day-light o’er the pavement quite has faded,
And the strong dead-march enwraps me.

In the eastern sky up-buoying,
The sorrowful vast phantom moves illumin’d;
(’Tis some mother’s large, transparent face,
In heaven brighter growing.)

O strong dead-march, you please me!
O moon immense, with your silvery face you soothe me!
O my soldiers twain! O my veterans, passing to burial!
What I have I also give you.

The moon gives you light,
And the bugles and the drums give you music;
And my heart, O my soldiers, my veterans,
My heart gives you love.

-Walt Whitman

(no subject)

This needs to be seen. Read deliriums_fish's journal entries here, here, here, and here for a first-hand account of what is going on with the protests at the port in Olympia, attempting to block a military shipment from a civilian port yesterday. There has been almost no media coverage, and what there is of course plays down how much brutality there is directed toward the protesters. And here is the video put out by the Olympian.

And slammerkinbabe has drafted a letter, which she has made available for copying or as a draft or whatever you want, here. Please, please read these.

New York.

Sooo. The trip.

I got up at 4:45, and got my train and left with no problem. Got to New York, and my train was a few minutes late, leaving me with bout 25 minutes to get from Penn Sation to 43rd. The subway had some massive problems yesterday, so I couldn't get a cab and ended up sprinting in 3" heels. And dripping with sweat with my makeup literally melting off. So that was fun. The audition was so crowded (and I was late for sign-in) that I was 62 in the queue. They sent everyone after 20 away to come back in an , at which point I had anxiety attack #1. I then went to the RENT lottery, because Anthony! And Adam! and I met up with a few other people waiting and did the lottery-buddy thing, which was greatly calming. None of us won, but because it was a Weds matinee, they had enough extras that they gave everyone there a ticket for $20.

So I was freaking out again because of heat (it was about 90F), dehydration, and nerves, so I went to a restaurant and had two glasses of water and forced myself to eat a salad, which was just meh. I went back to the audition, later than I was supposed to, and it was chaos. I couldn't figure out what was going on and I wasn't the only one. I got upset, had anxiety attack #2, and threw up (I'd been battling nausea all morning anyyway between nerves, heat, and motion sickness from the train), so I left because there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to sing. So I did not get to my audition, but at least next time I'll be better prepared and this will not happen. Because I will be better prepared. I will.

Then I went to see RENT. Anthony Rapp was fantastic. I have no words. He has such great facial expressions, and when he does things like spastic dancing Tango Maureen, he's so cute! There was a couple on the end of the second row who came back to where Anne and I were sitting and said that it was too loud for them because they were next to a subwoofer and were the seats next to us empty, and we ended up switching with them. When Anthony did the Valentine's Day thing over on the edge of the stage, I could have touched him. ::fangirl swoon:: Adam Pascal had some really good scenes and some that were just ok. He seemed much more enthusiastic than he did in the movie (and his hair was short! thank God), but there were some scenes where I was unsure what he was doing. Tamyra Gray from American Idol is playing Mimi. I hated her. She can't act, she can't dance, and half of her singing was flat. She did sound really good on No Day But Today and I Should Tell You, though. But the finale was HORRID. She had this stoned look the whole time. But Adam was great in the finale. And in Light My Candle, when she says "with my father" she does some different dance move every time (I hear) and Adam imitates her when he says "I'm Roger", which was popular. I wanted to bitchslap all the screaming fangirls who wouldn't stop cheering when they came onstage or after every song. Hello, we're paying to hear them! Let's actually listen!!!! Nicolette Hart was playing Maureen, and she was good, but Kelly Karbacz (who was the Maureen slammerkinbabe and I saw two years ago) was in the ensemble and I liked her way better. The Joanne was sick, so Merle Dandridge, the Joanne that Kylie and I saw, was filling in. Yay, cause she was awesome. And hot. Anthony and Nicolette came out and signed autographs. I didn't get a photo becaue I forgot my camera, dammit. And some squealing 15-year-olds behind me were going "ANTHONY CAN I HAVE A KISS????" and he looked sceptical and then blew one ofthem a kiss. Yay for him being AWESOME. He's so nice. And shorter than I am, even though his imdb bio says he's 5'8. Lol. But I was not feeling so great in that crowd.

So after RENT I went to the Port Authority bus terminal to see if I could get a refund for my bus ticket (they're supposed to give 80% bck, I can deal with that), but they said I had to call the Greyhound people. So I did, and I was on hold so long in a public place and all, and I missed my bus, being kicked into anxiety attack #3. Fun times. So I'm going to request a refund today, citing medical reasons (there is no possible way I could have stood five hours on a crowded bus when I was already upset), and if they don't listen to me, I'll call the bank and dispute the charge for the same reason. I can have my psychiatrist talk to them, even. While I was at the terminal, I went to Jamba Juice because I knew I was getting more dehydrated and all. I had a pomegranate/orange/strawberry thing and that was pretty good. So then I went to TKTS and got a ticket to see The Drowsy Chaperone. I went back to Penn Station so I could book a train, but the line was too long (it was an hour or so in line and 6:50pm), so I stopped and got a sandwich and had most of a large Sprite. I felt a little nauseous immediatle following, but so much better after that. It was air-conditioned in the station, and then I took a cab back to the theatre (it's like 15 blocks, I considered my sanity well worth the $8), the theatre was air-conditioned and not too crowded, so I felt so much better after all that. Drowsy Chaperone was really cute! Mara Davi was fantastic, as was Beth Leavel.

I got a train ticket back at 3am, so I spent about five hours in Penn Station listening to my iPod and reading Fire's Stone, because I don't know anyone in the city except a second cousin. I'm still recovering from heat exhaustion, but I guess I'm lucky I avoided full-on heat stroke, and my feet hurt so very much. I have bruises on the balls of my feet (but only one blister. Weird), and I can't really move my toes. But I'm back. Not going to New York again until my Met audition. I'll do national tour auditions, but I really don't want to live there. I don't think I could handle it.